Thursday, March 08, 2007

Few action stars possess the charisma of a Steven Seagal, even fewer possess the range. Seagal teaches us that the key to playing a bad ass character is having a bad ass name and Seagal is the master of bad ass character names.

Here are his five best:

5. Nico Toscani, Above the Law (1988)

Nico Toscani uncovers a deadly weapons trade after a drug dealer he busted is set free by some scumbag federal agents. This former CIA opperative turned badass Chicago detective is forced to go Above the Law to settle the score.

4. Casey Ryback, Under Seige (1992)
When scumbag terrorists take over the U.S. battleship where former Navy Seal Casey Ryback works as a bad ass sous chef, he must go Under Seige to settle the score.

3. Jonathan Cold, Black Dawn (2005)
I haven't seen this film, but I read the review and this is what it says: Badass CIA agent Jonathan Cold goes undercover to settle the score with a group of scumbag terrorists before they blow up Los Angeles. Tagline: "It's always darkest before dawn."

2. Gino Felino, Out for Justice (1991)
When that scumbag Richie shoots Bobby Lupo in broad daylight, the badass Brooklyn detective Gino Felino decides to settle the score and goes Out for Justice.

1. Mason Storm, Hard to Kill (1990)
Mason Storm spends seven years in a coma after he and his family are gunned down by some scumbags. Unfortuntaley for them, Mason Storm is a complete badass who is extremely Hard to Kill. He wakes up with a really long beard, shaves it off, then settles the score.

Now see if you can match the character with his picture:

A. Nico Toscani
B. Casey Ryback
C. Jonathan Cold
D. Gino Filino
E. Mason Storm


Answer Key: 1. Mason Storm 2. Gino Filino 3. Nico Toscani 4. Jonathan Cold 5. Casey Ryback


David said...

best post ever

j. leo said...

which one has teh "I'll take you to the bank, Senator...


scene in it?

Lomax said...

yeah, Mason Storm uttered those words in the film Hard to Kill

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