Don't be alarmed
0 comments Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year everybody.


There is an elevator in my building.  I usually take the stairs, but I took it yesterday and noticed a sign that said the following:

Should the elevator doors fail to open do not become alarmed.  Please use the button marked "Alarm".

Good to know.


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Posted byLomax
at10:36 AM

0 comments
 
Shoe attack
0 comments Sunday, December 14, 2008

An Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President Bush during a press conference in Iraq over the weekend.  Here is the video:



I'm not exactly a Bush fan, but nobody should be throwing anything at him.  Atleast not while he's president and especially not in another country.   But my real issue is not that this guy threw a shoe.  It's that he had time to take off a second shoe and throw that too. This is the President of the United States we are talking about. Once that first shoe left this dude's hand secret service should have been all over this guy like LT on Joe Theisman.


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Posted byLomax
at5:44 PM

0 comments
 
Netflix
1 comments Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Dear Netflix,

  I have Netflix.  Everyone I know has Netflix.  Stop sending me shit.  Every day I check my mail I think there's a new movie waiting for me and 9 times out of 10 it's a flyer asking me to buy Netflix for somebody else.  It's not fucking happening.  I'm not giving anybody the gift of Netflix this Christmas because everybody already has Netflix.  And even if they didn't I wouldn't buy it for them because that is about the lamest fucking present you can give somebody*.

*If you gave the gift of Netflix this year, I hope I offended you because you're an ass.



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Posted byLomax
at2:44 PM

1 comments
 
1: Corinthians 13:11
1 comments Friday, November 21, 2008

I went to a party where everybody was playing Guitar Hero and the strangest thing happened.  I got this uncontrollable urge to give somebody a wedgie.  True story.

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Posted byLomax
at4:45 PM

1 comments
 
Alter egos
0 comments Monday, November 17, 2008

There is something really pretentious about releasing an album under a fake identity like Beyonce's upcoming Sasha Fierce project.  But Sasha Fierce only scores about a 3 on the "I'm a douchebag scale". Remember Garth Brook's gay alter ego, Chris Gaines? That's about a 9.5.  


I do like it when comedians do this.  Call it a double standard, but it's funny and entirely un-douchey.  Blue Brothers, Spinal Tap, Tony Clifton, Borat, Vincent Laguardia Gambini; I enjoyed them all.


Posted byLomax
at2:22 PM

0 comments
 
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