Wednesday, September 12, 2007

So a Texas Longhorn fan walked into a bar in Sooner country and left his balls inside. That's not a bad joke, it's one man's sad existence. Here is the real story.

OK, so his balls weren't completely ripped off, but they were dangling around his knees when he left so we can assume they're useless. How does something crazy like this happen in a sane world? Let me explain.

Basically what you have is a big guy (the Texas fan) and a little guy (the Oklahoma fan). The big guy probably walks into this bar wearing his favorite Texas shirt, expecting to get a little ribbing. He probably hears a few wise cracks, whatever. Then this little guy gets a few beers in him and starts mouthing off. Big guy has just about enough so he gets its in the little guy's face, thinks he's going to teach him a lesson. Now the little guy, he's not stupid, this dude has 40lbs on him so what's he do? He goes for the groin. Smart move. The big guy left himself open by wearing basketball shorts into the bar and the little guy took advantage and was able to wiggle his hand up there, grab hold of those plums and yank them like he was ringing a bell.

What's the big guy do now? Well, he has two choices. He could use his thumbs to permanently blind the man. That is probably his best bet, but as the article clearly states, the little guy can still see. So he missed that boat. This leaves him with option number two: find where the little guy lives and kill him in the night while he's sleeping. Good luck big guy.


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