0 comments Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Perez Hilton has made a name for himself as a gay crusader, outing homosexual celebrities in the name of all things gay. But here's a scoop for you... it's all a lie. Perez Hilton crushes mad pussy. He is a beav hound, not gay at all. Why the fascade? Two reasons, really the same reason. 1) Cash. He has made a lot of money outing celebrities who don't want to be outed. He knows the best way to gain popularity and not come off like a right wing nut is by masquerading as a gay man. 2) Vag. Being that he is not actually gay, he likes to go balls deep in the ladies vagina area. Now that he is a psuedo celebrity himself, the pussy is in abudance.

0 comments Wednesday, January 24, 2007


It actually wasn't a bad year for movies but judging by the Academy Awards nominations you'd never know that.

The five best movies of the year actually are:

The Devil Wears Prada
Pan's Labyrinth
Letter's from Iwo Jima
The Queen

The Departed was good. Babel sucked. Little Miss Sunshine was ok.

0 comments Thursday, January 18, 2007

How come after more than 20 years of eating cereal I still can't pour the correct amount of milk in my bowl? Either there is too much or not enough.

0 comments Monday, January 15, 2007

I was enjoying a meal at Arby's earlier today when I blew a fart much louder than I would have liked... nobody so much as looked at me funny. Maybe the people at Wendy's ought to take a page out of their book.

P.S. I had the roast beef. It was delicious.

4 comments Saturday, January 13, 2007

How come it only takes one person to write a book but you need about 10 people to write a screenplay?

0 comments Thursday, January 11, 2007

After a man plummeted to his death from the Golden Gate Bridge police searched his home and found a suicide note.

This is what it said:

"I'm walking to the bridge. If one person smiles at me I won't jump."

0 comments Monday, January 08, 2007

Sometimes I wonder if I'd never seen the movie Just One of the Guys and I turned it on in the middle, how long would it take me to realize that Terri is a chick?

It's hard to say, but I'm thinking like maybe 12 seconds.

2 comments Thursday, January 04, 2007

They should randomly switch around area codes every 10 years or so. That way the jackasses who get their area code tattooed on them will feel really, really stupid.