1 comments Friday, November 21, 2008

I went to a party where everybody was playing Guitar Hero and the strangest thing happened.  I got this uncontrollable urge to give somebody a wedgie.  True story.

0 comments Monday, November 17, 2008

There is something really pretentious about releasing an album under a fake identity like Beyonce's upcoming Sasha Fierce project.  But Sasha Fierce only scores about a 3 on the "I'm a douchebag scale". Remember Garth Brook's gay alter ego, Chris Gaines? That's about a 9.5.  

I do like it when comedians do this.  Call it a double standard, but it's funny and entirely un-douchey.  Blue Brothers, Spinal Tap, Tony Clifton, Borat, Vincent Laguardia Gambini; I enjoyed them all.

0 comments Friday, November 14, 2008

Occasionally I take a minute out of my day and ponder why I, like so many Americans,  have no money.  Everyone knows the usual suspects: high gas prices, loan payments, credit cards etc. But it occurred to me, as it may have to you, that we have increasingly more "necessities" now than in the past.

For most of us, a cell phone is no longer a luxury item.  I don't know a single person under 30 without one and I'd have to strain to think of a person under 50 without one.  Simply put, it has become a necessity.   Soon this will be the case for a smart phone (iphone, blackberry, etc.) and the incurring data plan that comes with it.  Email has become a necessity, so has a home Internet connection. 

The bare bones, no frills consumer is getting squeezed out of the things he once enjoyed.  I don't have cable television and as a result I'm unable to watch what I would consider the basic staples of American sports, events that were, for as long as I can remember, enjoyed by millions of Americans for free.  I can't watch Monday Night Football anymore.  I couldn't watch 22 of the 28 playoff games played this baseball season.  Same goes for the NBA playoffs and any football game played on a Thursday night.  

Many things you once enjoyed for free you now have to pay for, whether it's listening to your favorite radio program or watching your favorite sports team play.  If you want to be a functioning member of society, you need a cell phone, a computer and a monthly subscription to operate both.  I don't have a land line, cable TV, or a data plan for my phone.  I have the cheapest cellphone plan of anyone I know and the best deal on cable Internet going today and I still pay upwards of 75 dollars a month for services that I literally can not be without.

0 comments Thursday, November 06, 2008

If this wasn't the greatest election of my life, it certainly was the grandest. It lasted nearly two years and was the most expensive campaign ever.  These were some of my favorite moments:

Jan 07 - Senator Joe Biden calls Barack Obama "articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy" two days into his campaign, ending any chance he had of winning.

2/10/07 - Barak Obama formally announces he will run for President.

5/27/08 - John McCain formally announces he will run for President.

6/13/07 - Obama girl debuts on youtube.

10/22/07 - Chuck Norris endorses Governor Mike Huckabee.

12/13/07 - Oprah Winfrey endorses Obama.

1/3/08 - Obama wins Iowa Caucus.

2/5/08 - Super Tuesday - the Democratic race is still unresolved.

3/4/08 - McCain clinches Republican nomination.

3/18/08 - Obama gives his a speech on race  in response to the fall out over Rev. Jeremiah Wright. 

6/7/08 - Hillary Clinton concedes, endorses Obama.

8/22/08 - Joe Biden is selected as the Democratic candidate for Vice President.

8/29/08 - Governer Sarah Palin is selected as John McCain's running mate.

9/24/08 - McCain suspends campaign to fix economy days before the first presidential debate.

10/7/08 - McCain refers to Obama as "that one" during second debate.

10/14/08 - Joe "The Plumber" becomes a public figure after Obama tells him he wants to "spread the wealth around". 

10/19/08 - Fmr. Secretary of State, Colin Powell endorses Obama.

10/22/08 - McCain activist, Ashley Todd claims she was mugged and beaten by an Obama supporter.

10/24/08 - Todd admits to fabricating her story.

11/4/08 - Barack Obama wins election.

0 comments Monday, November 03, 2008

This is the big one, America.  If you're not pumped, nervous, excited, or slightly worried then take your head out of your ass and pick an emotion.  Here is a list of places giving away free stuff to voters:

Starbucks:  Tell them you voted and get a free cup of coffee, America.

Ben & Jerry's: Get a free scoop of icecream.  Go USA!

Krispy Kreme: Show your "I voted" sticker and get a free Election Day donut or depending on your spelling preference, Doughnut, America.

CREDO Mobile:  If you suscribe to CREDO Mobile (who?) then you get free outgoing domestic calls as long as the polls are open.  America!

Shane's Rib Shack: Get a free "Vote America Meal", America.  That's three chicken tenders, fries and a 20 oz drink.  Just show them your "I voted" sticker.


0 comments Sunday, November 02, 2008

The remaining 4 measures on this Tuesday's ballot:

Prop 9: Victims rights and protection act

How I’m voting: NO

Why: The majority of what this measure proposes is sound and a ‘yes’ vote wouldn’t really be a bad idea.  Some of it seems unnecessary though.  Among other things, this wants to stop the early release of criminals due to overcrowded prisons, but that doesn’t even happen on the state level and that’s where they keep anybody serving more than 2 years.   A ‘no’ vote keeps things the way they are now and that doesn’t cost any more than it already does.

Why you should vote yes: You want fewer parole hearings for prisoners.

Prop 10: California Alternative Fuels Initiative

How I’m voting: NO

Why: Originally I supported this measure, but the arguments against it changed my mind. This authorizes 5 billion in bonds to be used as incentives to get people to buy clean vehicles, but the vast majority of that will go to big companies with large fleets of cars. Boone Pickens’ company has spent upwards of 17 million to get this passed and if it does he will reap huge profits. If the economy didn’t have two feet in the shitter and if we didn’t already have a big state deficit I might have gone the other way.

Why you should vote yes: You plan on buying a car that runs on something other than gas.

Prop 11: Redistricting, ‘Voter’s First Act’

How I’m voting: YES

Why: It makes sense to me and I can’t find any sort of hidden agenda behind it. Once every ten years the state re-draws the boundaries of the 120 legislative districts. Currently the state legislature does that by itself, this creates a commission to do it. 99% of incumbents win under the current system so you know that the state legislature doesn’t want that to change…scumbags.

Why you should vote yes: You are a state representative and you don’t want to lose your seat.

Prop 12: Veterans Bond Act

How I’m voting: YES

Why: This allows the state to sell 900 million dollars in general obligation bonds for the use of low interest home loans for California veterans. The loans would be repaid by the veterans who receive them, but because the money is coming from general obligation bonds, the tax payers are responsible to cover the difference if the veterans in the program can not fully cover the amount owed. BUT, they’ve been doing this since 1921 and the veterans have always been able to repay their debts.

Why you should vote no: ?

1 comments Saturday, November 01, 2008

As promised, here is my take on measures 5 through 8.

Prop 5: Nonviolent Offender Rehabilitation Act

How I’m voting: NO

Why: This reduces jail time for a variety of non violent crimes like dealing meth and identity theft which aren’t exactly victimless. Meth dealers are scumbags who practice bootleg chemistry in trailer parks and they belong in jail for more than 3 months at a clip. Also there is a potential loop hole for violent offenders to get out of jail by claiming a drug addiction was responsible for their behavior.

Why you should vote yes: You like to carry an ounce of weed on you at any given time. You want the tweaker who stole your shit to go to rehab instead of jail.

Prop 6: Police and Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Penalties and Laws 

How I’m voting: NO

Why: This was another tough call. There are a lot of things in this measure that I like such as requiring sheriffs to notify Immigration and Customs Enforcement when an illegal alien is charged with a violent crime, but overall it is a little far reaching for something that will divert tax dollars away from other programs.

Why you should vote yes: You live in a gang infested area. You are a police officer. You aren’t voting to fund some of the other measures on the ballot.

Prop 7: Renewable energy generation initiative statute.

How I’m voting: NO

Why: I’m not going to lie. I didn’t read all the text for this measure because it’s like 40+ pages and pretty much devoid of any attention-keeping value. I did read the arguments and rebuttals and here’s what I came away with: the Republican, Democratic, Libertarian and Green Party are all against prop 7 for a variety of reasons, but all seem to think it is poorly written and that fits with what I thought when I was trying to read it.

Why you should vote yes: Danny Glover supports it.

Prop 8: Eliminates rights of same-sex couples to marry.

How I’m voting: NO

Why: If this was a vote on giving gay dudes a separate locker room at the gym I’d be all for it. But that doesn't change my belief that you should be able to marry whoever you want, where and whenever you want and I have no problem with schools teaching kids that some men marry men and some women marry women. Gay people exist and forbidding them from getting married isn’t going to make them go away.  

Why you should vote yes: You believe homosexuality is a disease that spreads through tolerance and education. You’re a weirdo who thinks this is a slippery slope that ends with people marrying their pets.

Tomorrow: Measures 9-12