Saturday, May 19, 2007

Behold, the DePalma rule:

If you make three shitty movies in a row that's it. You're done.

I don't care how good your other movies are (Scarface, Casualties of War, The Untouchables, etc) if you make three stinkers in a row, without a decent flick in between, you get kicked out of Hollywood. It's that simple. If Sammy Sosa swings and misses three times in a row, he's out. The umpire doesn't tell him to go ahead and have another crack at it.

Make two pieces of shit and then do something decent, you're in the clear, your count goes back to zero. But three pieces of shit in a row and you're out. You have to start over at the beginning with all the punks coming out of film school.

Let's examine the history:
In 1998 Brian DePalma directed Snakes Eyes. It sucked.
He followed it up with another turd, Mission to Mars.
He comes back with Femme Fatale. Now at this point he should be done, that is three in a row. Instead he is allowed to continue and what do we get? We get The Black Dahlia. Another piece of shit.

Using the DePalma rule let's see who else should be kicked out of Hollywood.

M. Night Shyamalan.
Signs = Suck
The Village = Suck
Lady in the Water = You're out, you had a good run, now go home.

Kevin Smith
Jersey Girl = Suck
Clerks II = Suck
Your next movie better kick ass.

You get the idea. Feel free to add to the list.

3 comments:

Just another country blumpkin said...

Agreed. We let Harold Ramis get away with this run of shitstomping:

1996: Multiplicity
1999: Analyze This
2000: Bedazzled


And now he's around to add this one to the list:

2008: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostbusters_III

j. leo said...

Aren't you trashing a movie you were technically in (even if it was an extra part)?

Lomax said...

It's true. The back of my head couldn't save the Village from sucking.

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