Wednesday, September 17, 2008

For the first time in the history of the world, something other than porn is attracting the most Internet traffic.  According to a new study out of Australia, social networking sites are now the most visited destinations online, usurping the previous king of the Internet... titties.   Oh really?


So the modern teenage boy is no longer satisfied by the unattainable women of eastern Europe whose brimming mouths mumble barely coherent English.  Entertain if you will, my theory:  
The object of adolescent fantasy has come full circle.  Today's teenager, like his pre-Internet ancestors before him, fills his fancy with the young ladies of his very own home town.  Now, teenage boys everywhere, nerds and jocks a like, can electronically befriend the big tittied cheerleader who showed a little too much side boob in a facebook bikini pic. They can pull up photos of the pretty girl from Spanish class who didn't notice the camel toe on her myspace page.  Behold! The easy girl who never wears a bra to gym, wears nothing but a bra online!  With the click of a mouse these boys are whisked away to a sleepover that took place last month, last week or even last night.   

And you thought they were looking at something other than titties.  Shame on you.  The golden age of the Internet is truly upon us. 

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