I had to drop off a package in Santa Monica today. Seconds after I made the delivery I realized there was no way I could make it home without crapping my pants. Desperate, I surveyed the area. It was after 6 on a Friday and all of the offices were closed. I tried every door in sight and they were all locked. Only two places were open, a hair salon and a some kind of massage parlor for old people. I assessed the situation and decided the only way I could avoid an accident was to go in for a trim. It cost me 40 bucks, thus making it one of the most expensive dumps I've ever taken, second only to the time I had to reupholster my grandmother's couch.