0 comments Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The new ten dollar bill is such a deviation from the traditional look of our currency that a lot of cash handlers don't know what to expect anymore. I drew a picture of Hillary Clinton on a Starbucks napkin and told the girl at Walmart it was the new 50. Bought myself a new pair of pants and still had enough left over to put a payment down on a semi automatic assault rifle.

2 comments Thursday, October 19, 2006

If you've listened to a hip hop record in the last 5 years then you've probably heard the term hustlin'. A trained ear will tell you hustlin' is actually dervived from the English word hustling. To hustle someone is to swindle them, trick them, or cheat them out of something.

All this hustlin’ you keep hearing about must mean a great many people are walking around this country fuming mad that they got hustled, that or hustlin' is quickly becoming the most over used, misused word in the hip hop community. The following is an argument in favor of the latter.

Selling cocaine doesn't make you a hustler. It makes you a drug dealer. If you sell baking soda and tell people it is cocaine, you are a hustler. If you sell knockoff watches for 10 dollars you are not a hustler, you are a guy who sells trinkets. If you sell knockoff watches for 1200 dollars you are probably a hustler. If you win money playing dice you are lucky, if you cheat and don't get caught, congratulations you're a hustler. Remeber: In order for a hustle to take place someone has to get hustled. Thus, a prostitute who sucks cock for money is no more a hustler than a crackhead who sucks cock for money.

0 comments Sunday, October 15, 2006

I always feel bad when I go into a restroom where there is a bathroom attendant and I don't have any singles to leave for a tip. Take last night for example. I drop a royal dump in what is essentially this man's office. He washes my ass out with warm water then towel dries my balls and all I can offer in return is a handshake and a thank you. I'll be the first to say it - sometimes this world is plain old unfair.

0 comments Friday, October 13, 2006

If you've ever brought a girl home from a wild night out and held your breath as you removed her panties, praying you wouldn't see a penis, then maybe it's time you took a little break from partying.

2 comments Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Advertisers love idiots because idiots buy shit. This is the complete and total reason why decent TV shows have a life span of about 5 episodes. While you're scratching your head wondering how your favorite TV show got cancelled, 30 million morons are watching washed up celebrities dance around in glitter pants.

So you invest 3 weeks in some new show that isn't half bad and just when it starts to get interesting they pull the plug. That's you being made an ass of. Take this show Studio 60, it's far from event television but it's a decent show, if it makes it to the end of the season I'll be surprised. It would be the number 1 show on TV if the producers told the actors to use their real names and pretened it was real. This what they do with the other bullshit people watch. It's all fucking fake (except for Mindfreak, that dude is for real).

2 comments Monday, October 02, 2006

Fact: Anyone who's ever said childbirth is the most excruciating pain a person can endure obviously has never been kicked in the balls.