Who up and decided pants should have a complete and total monopoly on bottomwear? I'm tired of pants. There are all types of underwear: boxers, briefs, boxerbriefs, thongs. Yet there is only pants. Pants suck, they squeeze your balls too much. Imagine if other products squeezed your balls as much as pants do. What if your new tv squeezed your balls every time you tried to watch it? Or what if that garage door opener you just installed gave your balls a squeeze every time you parked your car? I doubt you'd put up with it for very long. Yet here you sit, reading this very sentence, while a pair of no good pants has your balls in a vice. Fuck pants.